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Rihanna got busted
July 5, 2009 
Rihanna at East Side Ink in New York (6/1)
Rihanna is in hot water with the New York City Health Department. She stopped by East Side Ink tattoo parlor on Monday and tattooed three of the artists with an umbrella and the letter R. The only problem is you need a license to do that. DUN DUN DUN!!!!! From TMZ:
[The Health Department says] Rihanna could be slapped with three misdemeanors for the offense, each with its own hefty penalty — as much as $300 for the first offense, $500 for the second and $1,000 for the third. Sources say the tattoo shop could also face considerable fines of its own if the NYC Law Dept. decides to open an investigation.
Just a thought here TMZ but in future stories about Rihanna, can you not use the word “slapped”? Domestic violence shouldn’t be a source of humor. It’s not bum fighting:
The NYC Health Department just told TMZ: “Only licensed tattoo artists can administer tattoos in the city according to the City’s Health Code. We are sending someone down to follow up on this.”
Well apparently hanging out with Chris Brown again hasn’t been the positive influence everyone thought it would be. Hopefully she’ll able to work through this whole misunderstanding and put her best face forward … I mean NOT this one.
Joe might fight the will
July 5, 2009 
Joe Jackson (with Jesse Jackson) outside his house in Encino (6/26)
Cut out of his son Michael’s will earlier this week, Joe Jackson is doing exactly the dignified thing you’d expect: he’s going down swinging. From the Chicago Sun Times:
It’s hard to believe, but a source close to Joe Jackson — who is working with him on several new business projects — says the outspoken patriarch of the Jackson clan may find himself further alienating his estranged wife, Katherine Jackson, and a number of his children.
The reason? Joe Jackson reportedly made several comments Tuesday — after learning details about Michael Jackson’s will — that he might consider challenging the document that reportedly doesn’t mention him at all. Though it’s well-known that Joe Jackson had had a difficult and often strained relationship with his son, my source tells me he was “still pretty pissed that there was no mention of him in the will whatsoever.”
Dude, I really think this guy is Satan. Look at that picture of him above — taken mere hours after his son’s death. He looks like he’s at a fucking carnival. I’ve seen kids at Disneyland holding cotton candy in one hand and a balloon in the other who looked less happy than that.
$70k to party
July 2, 2009 
Lindsay Lohan got paid
In “things that might have made sense five years ago when she was actually popular and not a coked-out shell of her former self” news, Lindsay Lohan pocketed a cool $70k from the MGM Grand for hosting a pre-birthday pool party Saturday. Combined with the other money she’s made from movies and endorsements, the appearance fee raised Lindsay’s income to exactly $70k this year. From the New York Post:
At the event, which served as a promotion for her Sevyn Nine self-tanning mist, Lohan changed bathing suits five times before throwing on club gear and dancing to Michael Jackson songs for the rest of the night.
But friends of Lohan say the event was less of a celebration and more of an urgent attempt to pull in some cash. “None of her really close friends were there,” said our insider, who noted that ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson was also missing from the festivities. “The only person who was even known was Brittny Gastineau.”
$70k sounds like quite the deal. I mean, just look at her above. What grace. What elegance. She reminds me a lot of Princess Diana … I mean the 2009 version, not that 1996 version that was living. My god. She is a fucking mess. Bitch looks like she just stepped off the set of Thriller.
Stephanie Pratt in Miami yesterday
July 2, 2009 
Stephanie Pratt bikini pics! (Miami - 6/30)
Does anyone else find it a little disturbing that Spencer Pratt married someone who looks exactly like his sister Stephanie (in Miami yesterday)? The 1944 version of Hitler thinks this is a little creepy.
Stephanie Pratt in Stephanie Pratt Midnight T&A: Angela Turkusowa
July 2, 2009 
Angela Turkusowa in Angela Turkusowa Shia hit that
July 1, 2009 
Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf at the German premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at the Potsdamer Platz Square in Berlin (6/14)
Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf have been spending a lot of time together lately while promoting the newest Transformers film, so it comes as no surprise that he probably weaseled his way into her bed. From the New York Daily News:
Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are certainly fanning the gossip fires when it comes to reports they’re an item. The “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” co-stars (whose movie killed the competition with a $201 million five-day opening) sat side by side during a dinner with 10 pals — including director Oliver Stone — at Nobu on Thursday.
“They definitely seemed into each other,” says a witness, who told us that when Fox left at 10 p.m., LaBeouf followed hot on her heels. Another spy added that, while partying at a Rose’s bash in West Hollywood earlier in the week, “Shia couldn’t keep his eyes off of Megan: He literally watched her like a hawk all night.”
Watched her like a hawk? I’ve actually had a judge use that same exact phrase right before he handed down my sentence. Yet the Daily News somehow makes it seem cute and innocent. Dammit, I wish they had been writing about my “situation” last year instead of the rookies that work at my local paper. I bet those veterans would have never used such a loaded term as “Panty Bandit.”