Tania Derveaux (a former Senatorial candidate in Belgium who promised “40,000 blowjobs” to supporters) is a woman on a mission. She wants to protect net neutrality. So fervent is her passion that she is willing to have sex with any virgin who provides “proof” that he (Or she? Presumably not.) has been defending net neutrality. We cannot wait to die. Let’s take a look at Tania’s requirements:

• applicants must be 18yrs old or above
• condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania’s body without any oral or vaginal contact
• Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of ‘surprise buttsex’ occurs

• multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance

• if anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity
• applicant must be able to provide sufficient evidence that clearly shows he has been defending net neutrality (eg. a print-out of a forum post, a link to a vlog)
• applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer
• Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons

So. Ok. Let’s proceed as if this is not some sort of elaborate and clever satirical remark on the state of the internet today. Now, Tania, describes her mission thusly:

I’m using sex in a positive way to spread awareness. The reason why only virgins can apply is because I don’t want to make this promise to such a large amount of people that I’ll have to turn some down.

Source